A mismatch in feelings of tension within a marriage could set the stage for divorce, a new study suggests.
Increased tension among wives was particularly problematic for marital longevity when their husbands reported low levels of tension over time, the research finds.
“People in the same relationships have different ideas about the quality of their tie…”
Researchers followed 355 couples over the course of 16 years and found that while marital tension increased over time, husbands’ tensions increased at a greater rate than wives’ tensions. However, it was increased marital tension among wives that predicted divorce.
“The association with divorce was greater if men reported low levels of tension when women reported a higher accumulation of tension,” says Kira Birditt, a research associate professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and lead author of the study.
“It could reflect a lack of investment in the relationship on the husband’s part—they might believe it’s unnecessary to change or adjust their behavior.”
The study used data from the Early Years of Marriage Project, which began in 1986. About half of the 355 couples followed were white and half were black. The couples were interviewed between the first four and nine months of their marriage, and again in years two, three, four, seven, and sixteen of the project.
Interviewers asked husbands and wives about their irritation or resentment over the previous month and how frequently they felt tense from fighting, arguing, or disagreeing with their spouses.
It’s tougher than ever to build an awesome marriage
Women across the study reported higher levels of tension when they entered the marriage. Husbands reported low levels of tension, but their tension increased more over the course of the marriage.
“It could be that wives have more realistic expectations of marriage, while husbands had more idealistic expectations of wives,” Birditt says.
About 40 percent of the 355 couples divorced during the study’s 16-year-period, which matches the national average of the time period, she says.
“These findings are exciting because it’s important to consider both people in the relationship,” Birditt says. “Previous studies have looked at married individuals, but you’re not getting information from both people in the couple. People in the same relationships have different ideas about the quality of their tie.”
Baby before marriage now less risky for couples
The researchers report their findings in the journal Developmental Psychology.
Source: University of Michigan
